Resumes

So what exactly IS a resume? According to the definition in my dictionary it means "a summary". In the quest for gainful employment that summary usually is a one page document of whom you have worked for and how long. It also allows the person for whom the resume is highlighting the opportunity to summarize their key qualifications as well as their education.
Wouldn't it be fun to just "let loose" and write down whatever you wanted without the worries of how it looked on paper?
For instance when one of those dreaded time gaps appears, it would be great to put down what you REALLY did.
Feb 1996-March 1997 Hung out at various relatives and friends houses seeking inner peace and a good tan.
or
May 1995-current Went friggin bonkers at home taking care of the young'uns.
I guess there is no place in the work force for this type of honesty. What if we could answer the application questions with the same type of openess?
Reason for leaving job? The manager/owner/boss was a lunatic!!
Pay that you desire? Enough to get me to Italy at least once a year.
Do you require time and a half for working holidays, weekends or beyond your usual full time hours? No, I do not have a life beyond my work here at "Quickee-Mart" so who needs to make more than minimum wage????
What can you bring to this position? How about you treat me good and I will ditto.

Looking For Work

Looking for "A JOB" sucks. Especially when due to circumstances happen beyond ones control create what the job industry calls "gaps" in your work history. You know those times in your life when you are busy just surviving at some crap job hoping you can get far enough ahead to find a less crappy job and so on and so on. "Gaps" is actually a nice way to phrase it. However when one has these on their resume and even worse has numerous jobs in a short frame of time... the Human Resource Lord looks upon these as deeming you unsuitable to be worthy of an interview.
I was blessed to be fired the day after Christmas. Yea, the day after the holiday that celebrates all that is good in mankind. (Unless Scrooge was your employers idol) I say I was blessed because this job was one of crappier jobs I have endured. I was released and set free. Yay! Broke, worried, and ego slightly bruised but free. I cannot believe that I actually allowed some small minded person to belittle me and treat me disrespectfully for so long.
My days are now spent filling out forms trying to convince someone out there that I AM WORTHY! I am really! I multitask, have an attention to detail, and a sense of humor and most importantly I will perform my duties to the best of my ability even if my supervisor is an asshole. O.K. I realize that I am using this blog to vent a bit. I believe I am allowed. I got a wrong number today on my cell phone. She sounded official. When she called back again I asked her if somehow she had gotten my name mixed up with another person and did she have a job? I wanted to tell her DON'T HANG UP!! I am worthy to talk to about the position! It was just a wrong number. At that moment I realized that this job search thing was consuming me and that I had to let it go and trust.

Trust that a power much larger than JobDango had my best interests at heart and that all will be as it is meant to be and it will be good, and respectful and fulfilling. Yes, I am worthy.