Tuesday, February 03, 2009


What is your definition of a Fresh Start?

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end”….

Doors close and a window opens (or so they say). It seems that sometimes the doors in my life have not only closed, they have friggin slammed shut, hitting me on the backside, propelling me forward, but… to what?

I know. Another door may, possibly, o.k. WILL open (usually one that I have not considered going through) and I find myself wondering if I really want to go through this "stuff" again. I would like to say that I take a "leap of faith", however it is more like I stick my foot in the water and wiggle around a toe or two before figuring out that I just need to CANNON BALL it and jump in.

I have lived in fine homes and been comfortable financially. I have also had to sell my favorite possessions on Craigslist to pay rent and used a credit card to buy groceries. Faith gets me through the grey times. I call them "grey" because no matter how bad it seems I have never looked at a situation as being totally dark. Something deep inside tells me that with just a glimmer of hope the grey will continue to lighten and things WILL get better. Eventually.

The animals that share this world with us do not vex themselves as to whether they will have a home to live in or a meal to eat. Granted, sometimes these things are difficult to obtain, however they KNOW that they will be provided for. I wish I was more animal like at times. I guess all I can do is to remind myself that the next time I begin to use energy to stress or worry about what could, would or should be I just need to step outside and watch a bird zooming or a squirrel leaping from tree to tree and hopefully that will snap me out of my crazy human thinking.

No comments: